When the church hurts you…

Don’t let this stop you from loving Jesus. Do everything you can to stay close to Jesus.

You often see people in church who seem they are not meant to be there.

When you observe these individuals attending, interacting, and serving, it is evident that their hearts are not as invested as they once were, or perhaps they have never been fully committed.
This is a common situation in the church that is rarely addressed.

In June 2024, my wife and I formally left the church we had attended for three years. This church experience left us feeling used, hurt, and in need of healing and recovery.
In our search for a church, we attended several services in town. After much prayer, we felt God guiding us to find a place focused on worship and simple teachings from the Bible. Not focused on growing church numbers or typical structures, but something I like to call “Jesus in the raw.”

We found churches similar to those we have attended before. Some were quite different, while others closely matched what we were looking for.

My wife and I are members of a worship group that performs at various churches. In the summer of 2024, we played at a service and started a conversation with one of the church leaders, with whom we’ve had a good relationship for many years. We discussed the church’s background and the plans for the future. At that time, there was no pastor, and they were actively searching for one.

This conversation captivated us because the church seemed to align with what we were seeking at the time: simple worship and a focus on being close to Jesus. Over the next few months, we began attending several services. Eventually, a leader invited us to join the church’s core group. This group’s mission is to revitalize the church and establish its direction for the upcoming year.
We were honored to be invited to this group. After spending a few weeks in prayer about this opportunity, we felt it was something we could embrace. I attended several core group sessions to pray and plan for the future. This experience was exciting, and I offered my musical skills to play during worship.

The church leadership was looking for a new lead pastor, and I was excited to welcome a friend of mine to this role. However, during his first service where he addressed the entire congregation, we sensed a shift in the atmosphere. While the teaching and worship were both good, there was something different about the overall atmosphere that day.

After numerous late-night discussions and prayers with my wife, we concluded that what we needed was not aligned with the main focus of this church.
This is not to say that the church became inadequate after getting a new pastor; it remains highly dedicated to community, meaningful worship, and teaching. However, when we sensed a shift in the atmosphere, we found it increasingly difficult to invest our hearts into it. Ultimately, we felt we could no longer find the healing we sought.

I provide this backstory to establish the context for the following paragraph.

If you find yourself in a situation where you believe your heart is in the right place, but suddenly feel a sense of disconnection, take some time to reflect. Pray about it and discuss your feelings with someone you trust. If you sense that God is guiding you to leave, don’t hesitate to follow that direction. You should never feel obligated to stay in a place simply because you’ve invested time or made a verbal commitment.

Leaving is not a small decision, so it should not be made hastily; instead, it should be based on God’s guidance. Trust your heart and follow where God directs you. Don’t feel that you need to sacrifice your well-being just to avoid suffering in the end.

When we made this decision, I sat down with my friends, the leader, and the pastor. I shared my feelings and explained how we believed God was guiding us. At no point did I blame the church for its direction; I acknowledged that God was leading them in their path, while He was guiding us in a different direction.

A few months ago, we began meeting with an American and a Hungarian couple to watch services online and spend time in prayer together. You could call this a small house church. This has been ideal for us since it’s not a traditional church setting; it’s just a few people gathering to worship, listen, and pray. It reminds us of how the church began in biblical times.

Currently, God has us meeting in a small house church. Without a church building, speakers, or a set agenda. Instead, we gather as a few individuals to discuss what God reveals for us and pray for direction, healing, and love. Until God leads us in another direction, we’re simply sitting together in the living room and loving Jesus!